Good Idea Fairy: What's with the colander in your head? Are you a Pastafarian?
Narrator: With the wide frozen smile and wide eye stare, Adrian Parks replied...
Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee... I'm protecting my brains from PSYOPs!
Narrator: Adrian Park's eyes get wider when he says "PSYOPs!"
He turns to Mac and lifts his hands up. He pushes the palms of his hands toward Mac's face and randomly moves his hands all over the place inches from Mac's face. With wide ear to ear teeth bearing smile, and wide eyes, he kept moving his hands at random locations but remaining within inches of Mac's face.
Adrian Parks: Psy OPS! PSSSY OOHHHPS! PSSYYYYY OOHHHHPPPSSSSSSS!
Narrator: Mac adopts the "you're crazy look" on his face as he looks at Adrian Parks. Right then, everybody heard something repeatedly hitting the walls in the hallway... wham clunk... wham clunk... wham clunk... It got louder.
Daniel Alan Bernath's coffee showed ripples in response. The noise just got louder...WHAM CLUNK... WHAM CLUNK... WHAM CLUNK....
The noise got louder and came closer to the door.
Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee, that must be the idiot that I sold my useless tinfoil hat to. You see, I was outside looking at the holes in the ground to find out which one of them was my azzhole.
Good Idea Fairy: You should've taken a shower before coming here! You would've found it!
Narrator: WHOMP CLUNK... WHOM CLUNK... WHOMP CLUNK...
Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee, it's a shame that the meaning behind your name seems to escape you.
But, onto my story. So there I was, in the parking lot looking for my azzhole among the holes in the ground. This man showed up. Apparently, he had the same problem I had. He was looking for his azzhole among the holes in the ground.
Good Idea Fairy: Then what happened?
Adrian Parks: He approached me and started talking about how he was a retired United States Air Force Lieut. Col. I'm a prior Marine. I know a poser when I see one. I had a spare hat that was not working. It was an old colander that I purchased for $10.00. I wrapped tin foil all over it. I asked him why retired Air Force officers wore tinfoil hats at times.
The guy told me that he was not a poser. He tells me that he was in the Air Force and that he was a Lt. Col. He told me that he was a retired Air Force combat pilot, and that combat pilot veterans wore those things to remind them of their combat pilot time.
So, I sold him my spare colander tinfoil hat for $100.00.
Narrator: At the moment, the big screen in a room captured a video of the hallway. They saw a huge man consistently walking into the walls slowly progressing toward the door. He was wearing a U.S. Air Force pilot hat. In the back, it said, "Hollywood."
Right at the moment, Dennis Howard Chevalier showed at the door. He walked towards the group.
Good Idea Fairy: So Dennis Howard Chevalier, why are you wearing your combat pilot hat and not the one that Adrian Parks sold to you?
Dennis Howard Chevalier: Right when that guy [pointing to Adrian Parks] gave up looking for his azzhole in the ground, he entered the building. I was out there by myself looking for my azzhole from among the holes in the ground.
I was doing pretty good, attention focused on the ground, when all of a sudden a guy in a purple skydive suit bounced off the roof and fell onto me.
He apologized for doing that. He called himself "Thunder Chicken". He wanted to know what he could do to make it up.
Good Idea Fairy: So what did you say?
Dennis Howard Chevalier: He pointed to the tinfoil hat that I had just purchased, and asked me how much? I told him that it would either cost $400.00 or a 7 pound block of government cheese. He quickly gave me $400.00 in cash.
Daniel Alan Bernath: That son of a bitch! That was my retainer fee for appearing for this show! That idiot in the purple suit is Dallas Wittgenfeld, OVER!
Narrator: Dennis Howard Chevalier slumbers over to the empty chair by Adrian Parks. He takes a seat. The material in the seat makes protesting noises as if they were going to buckle in.
Good Idea Fairy: Okay Mac, let's get back to you. Why do you say that the troops are welfare whores?
Mac: In society, you have the wealth generators, and the leeches. The military is part of the leach group. They get paid with the money forcefully taken from the wealth generators.
Narrator: Right at this moment, the noise of Dennis Howard Chevalier's chair started to get stronger. When, all of a sudden, CRRAAACK, WHOOMP BUMP...
Dennis Howard Chevalier's chair breaks and Dennis Howard Chevalier's chair collapsed onto the floor. Dennis Howard Chevalier falls back. His combat pilot hat falls off his head and skitters across the floor. Everybody sees the "Hollywood" label on it rotate into and out of view.
Dennis Howard Chevalier: Someone call the Amber Lamps!
Amber Lamps: You're fine, get up and get a stronger chair.
Narrator: The studio staff help Dennis Howard Chevalier into a stronger chair. They clean up the old chair's residue. At this moment, people hear another noise down the hall... whomp clunk... whomp clunk... whomp clunk... whomp clunk...
From the peanut gallery, someone said, "You're full of crap!" Everybody turned towards the peanut gallery.
A giant peanut walks into the studio.
Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Mac is full of scrap.
Narrator: The Giant Peanut takes a seat by the Good Idea Fairy. He continues with his statement.
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