Mac et al, The Troops are Welfare Whores, Interview Part I

Good Idea Fairy: The focus of this group Facebook TV interview is to get to the bottom of the anti-military aspects of Mac's goals with his websites, and to cover the interest areas of a couple other groups here... Looks like we have one or more interviewees running late.

I'd like to get started with the interview.

I'm the Good Idea Fairy. One of our guests didn't want to come in if this interview were to be done by Hans Fallada over at "This Ain't Hell." So, I'm filling in for him. This interview was moved over to one of the Facebook studios.

Starting with Mac, were going to go around the table and let the guests introduce themselves. So Mac, tell us a little about yourself.

Mac: I'm Mac, I run the following Facebook groups:

The Troops Are Welfare Whores
The Police Are Welfare Whores
The Constitution Sucks
Americans against the United States of America

I also run other similar-nature Facebook pages.

Linda Kay: I'm Linda Kay, main investigator of Kay and Associates. We investigate the paranormal. Here are my associates: Robert Quentin, David Cooper, Rhonda Langston, and our honorary associate, Amber Lamps.

Good Idea Fairy: What kind of paranormal activities do you guys investigate?

Linda Kay: We investigate ghosts, demons, UFOs, extraterrestrial surface anomalies, underwater anomalies, etc.

Good Idea Fairy: Awesome, can't wait to hear what you have to say... on to Psul of the Ballsacks...

Psul of the Ballsacks: I'm here for Ballsacks and Associates. We're a group that goes on the Internet trolling people that harass pretend veterans as phonies. My associates are all basically trolling the Internet right now; however, my counsel Daniel Alan Bernath is with me.

Daniel Alan Bernath: You forgot to say, "Over"!

Good Idea Fairy: Over...

Daniel Alan Bernath: Not you Mrs. Fairy, Mr. Ballsacks! This is like what we do in naval communications.

Psul of the Ballsacks: Over...

Daniel Alan Bernath: My clients are being terrorized by those out to get them. These are bullies, terrorists, thugs, etc. I want to get this Valor Vulture conspiracy out in the open. The other client, Dallas Wittgenfeld, will be here, he's running late... Over...

Good Idea Fairy: Late over what?

Daniel Alan Bernath: You're supposed comment when I say "over"!

Good Idea Fairy: Okay, Mac, let's go back to you. Please tell us what your websites are all about.

Mac: There's this unnatural hero worship going on. I want to fight against that because it's unhealthy. To fight against troop worship, I created "The Troops Are Welfare Whores" Facebook group. I did this to combat people worshiping the troops. I also created an open page called "Police Are Welfare Whores."

Good Idea Fairy: But how can they be that, how could they be welfare whores if they get paid?

Mac: With the government dime... I don't need the military, state organized militias, the police departments, etc. We can protect ourselves. They're doing for us what we can do for ourselves. The government steals from us so that they could run these welfare programs at all government levels.

Narrator: Sound enters the room. It starts off light and gets louder... Whomp clunk... Whomp clunk... whomp clunk... whomp clunk...  It sounded like it was coming down from the hall and getting closer to the room.

Good Idea Fairy: That noise is getting intrusive, can security go out there and see what's going on?

Narrator: Daniel Alan Bernath looks at Mac and starts commenting.

Daniel Alan Bernath: As an Honorary Chief Petty Officer, I say that you're saying that under the banner of the freedom that we provided you...

Narrator: The "whomp clunk" noise stopped.

Mac: Pipe down welfare whore, I served in Desert Storm. I did 10 years in the welfare whore active military and another two years at the welfare whore reserve center that should be destroyed!

Daniel Alan Bernath: Well I'm a Vietnam veteran. You better show some respect before my client, Dallas Wittgenfeld gets here. He has no patience for what he calls "millennial veterans," which is what he would categorize you.

Narrator: Psul of the Ballsacks turns toward Mac.

Psul of the Ballsack: If they have This Ain't Hell posters there, that could be arranged! Do you know when your former reserve center drills next? I'll just accuse them of being phonies!

Narrator: At this moment, security shows up, flanking Adrian Parks. Adrian Park's eyes were wide and his teeth bearing smile was ear to ear. That smile and teeth bearing stare were frozen on his face. Adrian Parks wore a colander on his head. He just stood there with that stare and smile frozen on his face.

Security 1: We found this guy in the hallway, walking into the walls paramecium/gnat stile, slowly making his way over to this room's door.

Good Idea Fairy: There's an empty seat next to Mac, go ahead and help yourself to that seat.

Narrator: The security guards walked Adrian Parks over to his seat. Adrian Parks stops before getting to his seat though. With security still flanking him, Adrian Parks turns to Mac. With ear to ear smile, and wide stare, he asks Mac a question.

Adrian Parks: Do you guys serve beans on Tuesday night at The Troops Are Welfare Whores Cafeteria? Every Tuesday night at the place where authorities wear white lab coats, they serve beans on Tuesday night. I live in that nice place. I LOOOOVE BEEEAAAANS!

Narrator: Security sits Adrian Parks. While he is going through the motion of sitting down, Adrian Parks keeps staring at Mac. At this moment, everybody in the room hears a loud "Thud" on the roof. It's followed by a "THUD, WHAM, THUD," followed by a dragging sound across the roof.

Daniel Alan Bernath: That should be my client, Dallas Wittgenfeld.

Good Idea Fairy: Tell us about yourself Adrian Parks!

Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee... I served in the Gulf War as a Marine, then I later ran Adrian Parks Incorporated. When the free market economy didn't cooperate with me, I switched to becoming a key religious leader at voluntarism.

Mac et al, The Troops are Welfare Whores, Interview Part II

Good Idea Fairy: What's with the colander in your head? Are you a Pastafarian?

Narrator: With the wide frozen smile and wide eye stare, Adrian Parks replied...

Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee... I'm protecting my brains from PSYOPs!

Narrator: Adrian Park's eyes get wider when he says "PSYOPs!"

He turns to Mac and lifts his hands up. He pushes the palms of his hands toward Mac's face and randomly moves his hands all over the place inches from Mac's face. With wide ear to ear teeth bearing smile, and wide eyes, he kept moving his hands at random locations but remaining within inches of Mac's face.

Adrian Parks: Psy OPS!  PSSSY OOHHHPS!   PSSYYYYY OOHHHHPPPSSSSSSS!

Narrator: Mac adopts the "you're crazy look" on his face as he looks at Adrian Parks. Right then, everybody heard something repeatedly hitting the walls in the hallway... wham clunk... wham clunk... wham clunk... It got louder.

Daniel Alan Bernath's coffee showed ripples in response. The noise just got louder...WHAM CLUNK... WHAM CLUNK... WHAM CLUNK....

The noise got louder and came closer to the door.

Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee, that must be the idiot that I sold my useless tinfoil hat to. You see, I was outside looking at the holes in the ground to find out which one of them was my azzhole.

Good Idea Fairy: You should've taken a shower before coming here! You would've found it!

Narrator: WHOMP CLUNK... WHOM CLUNK... WHOMP CLUNK...

Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee, it's a shame that the meaning behind your name seems to escape you.

But, onto my story. So there I was, in the parking lot looking for my azzhole among the holes in the ground. This man showed up. Apparently, he had the same problem I had. He was looking for his azzhole among the holes in the ground.

Good Idea Fairy: Then what happened?

Adrian Parks: He approached me and started talking about how he was a retired United States Air Force Lieut. Col. I'm a prior Marine. I know a poser when I see one. I had a spare hat that was not working. It was an old colander that I purchased for $10.00. I wrapped tin foil all over it. I asked him why retired Air Force officers wore tinfoil hats at times.

The guy told me that he was not a poser. He tells me that he was in the Air Force and that he was a Lt. Col. He told me that he was a retired Air Force combat pilot, and that combat pilot veterans wore those things to remind them of their combat pilot time.

So, I sold him my spare colander tinfoil hat for $100.00.

Narrator: At the moment, the big screen in a room captured a video of the hallway. They saw a huge man consistently walking into the walls slowly progressing toward the door. He was wearing a U.S. Air Force pilot hat. In the back, it said, "Hollywood."

Right at the moment, Dennis Howard Chevalier showed at the door. He walked towards the group.

Good Idea Fairy: So Dennis Howard Chevalier, why are you wearing your combat pilot hat and not the one that Adrian Parks sold to you?

Dennis Howard Chevalier: Right when that guy [pointing to Adrian Parks] gave up looking for his azzhole in the ground, he entered the building. I was out there by myself looking for my azzhole from among the holes in the ground.

I was doing pretty good, attention focused on the ground, when all of a sudden a guy in a purple skydive suit bounced off the roof and fell onto me.

He apologized for doing that. He called himself "Thunder Chicken". He wanted to know what he could do to make it up.

Good Idea Fairy: So what did you say?

Dennis Howard Chevalier: He pointed to the tinfoil hat that I had just purchased, and asked me how much? I told him that it would either cost $400.00 or a 7 pound block of government cheese. He quickly gave me $400.00 in cash.

Daniel Alan Bernath: That son of a bitch! That was my retainer fee for appearing for this show! That idiot in the purple suit is Dallas Wittgenfeld, OVER!

Narrator: Dennis Howard Chevalier slumbers over to the empty chair by Adrian Parks. He takes a seat. The material in the seat makes protesting noises as if they were going to buckle in.

Good Idea Fairy: Okay Mac, let's get back to you. Why do you say that the troops are welfare whores?

Mac: In society, you have the wealth generators, and the leeches. The military is part of the leach group. They get paid with the money forcefully taken from the wealth generators.

Narrator: Right at this moment, the noise of Dennis Howard Chevalier's chair started to get stronger. When, all of a sudden, CRRAAACK, WHOOMP BUMP...

Dennis Howard Chevalier's chair breaks and Dennis Howard Chevalier's chair collapsed onto the floor. Dennis Howard Chevalier falls back. His combat pilot hat falls off his head and skitters across the floor. Everybody sees the "Hollywood" label on it rotate into and out of view.

Dennis Howard Chevalier: Someone call the Amber Lamps!

Amber Lamps: You're fine, get up and get a stronger chair.

Narrator: The studio staff help Dennis Howard Chevalier into a stronger chair. They clean up the old chair's residue. At this moment, people hear another noise down the hall... whomp clunk... whomp clunk... whomp clunk... whomp clunk...

From the peanut gallery, someone said, "You're full of crap!" Everybody turned towards the peanut gallery.

A giant peanut walks into the studio.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Mac is full of scrap.

Narrator: The Giant Peanut takes a seat by the Good Idea Fairy. He continues with his statement.

Mac et al, The Troops are Welfare Whores, Interview Part III

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: First, Mac didn't serve 10 active duty years in the military. He didn't serve in the combat theater during the Gulf War. He was a USMC Marine, in the reserve. I wished I could say that he served "honorably", but his service was other than honorable.

He got kicked out with an Other Than Honorable, or OTH, discharge for failing to participate satisfactorily. He failed to attend his regularly scheduled drill weekends.

He received way too many "Unexcused Absence Letters." He ignored those letters, as well as his notice of separation packet. He eventually got kicked out, reduced to E1, and was given on OTH.

Mac has been sore about this ever since.

Now, as to why he runs his sites? No. His poor experiences with the USMC Reserve helped fuel his telling lies to his followers. Those sites that he runs aren't really for the purposes that he sets them up for. Well, at least, not for the reason he lets on.

The real reason for his sites is to get attention. He knows exactly what to say to stir emotions. He knows that the title of his pages will inflame emotions and cause debate. When you have activity under those pages, you increase the chances that traffic flows to where you want it to flow.

In this case, Mac wants traffic to flow to his bit coin links.

Narrator: Adrian Parks gets tired of swiftly moving his hands inches from Mack's face. He stands up and walks around the group while sliding his hands inches from their faces while repeatedly saying, "PSY OHPS". Throughout this time, his teeth baring smile, and wide eyes, remain on his face.

Finally, Adrian Parks gets to the giant peanut. But, before he could get his hands towards the giant peanut's face, Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut quickly gets up and utilizes martial arts moves. From the others' perspectives, the giant peanut's arms and legs looked like they were going through the strobe light effect.

But, to Adrian Parks, it was anything but a strobe light effect. It was a painful, humiliating, and sobering effect. Adrian Parks collapsed onto the floor, his colander fell from his head and bounced across the floor. When Big Peanut got done, he put 1 foot on top of a crumpled Adrian Parks.

Dennis Howard Chevalier: Someone get the Amber Lamps.

Amber Lamps: I got this...

Narrator: Amber Lamps shines a tactical amber light on Adrian Parks, and Adrian Parks comes up. A lot wiser than he was, and without the wide eyes and frozen smile. Adrian Parks slumbers to his chair. He takes a seat.

Big Peanut resumes.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Well anyway, before I was rudely interrupted, Mac is drawing attention to his links. All those people that post on his pages are stooges.

Narrator: The noise in the hallway gets louder. Whomp clink... whomp clink.... Whomp clink...

They could hear the noise in the hallway just outside the room. Next thing you know, the part of the wall that the noise is concentrated on comes crashing down. Dallas Witgenfeld falls into the room and collapses onto the floor. His colander tinfoil hat skitters across the floor.

Adrian Parks says, "Excuse me." He gets up to get his own colander and puts it back in his head. He walks back to his chair and takes a seat.

Dallas Wittgenfled gets up, brushes his purple sky diving suit down, picks up his colander tinfoil hat and puts it on. He walks over and sits right next to Dennis Howard Chevalier.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Ahem...

Narrator: Both Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut and the Good Idea Fairy looked at the trio with colanders/brain buckets on their heads... The 3 colander stooges, sitting side-by-side.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut was tempted to smack Adrian Parks right upside the head to see if it would create a Newton's cradle affect with the other 2. He reserved that as a disciplinary tool in case one of them misbehaved.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Well anyway, Mac has successfully suckered a bunch of people into continuously participating on his Facebook groups.

He is living very much like the welfare whores that he accuses other people of being. He has no job. He's living in his relative's basements, eating their food, drinking their water, clogging up their toilets, causing drama, and is basically being a middle-aged kid.

Narrator: At this moment, Mac quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He puts it to his ears.

Mac: Hello? Teal?

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: You're a phony aren't you? You never deployed to the Persian Gulf!

Mac: But I did! In Saudi Arabia, I don't know if you boys have all been there, but in Saudi Arabia, it's all classified!

Narrator: Mac gets up and walks toward the door. He holds his phone to his ears and pretends to have a phone conversation with his sock puppet, Teal.

Mac: Yeah... yeah... I'm coming over...

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: There's nothing on the guy's phone. As with anything else he does, he's faking it.

Narrator: Mac leaves the room, his pace quickens as soon as he is in the hallway headed toward the exits.

Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee... He's taken off to eat all the beans, he will NOT hoard all the beans!

Narrator: With that, Adrian Parks leaves the room and takes off after Mac.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Whose idea was it to bring everybody into this interview? This whole thing went all over the place and then fell apart.

Good Idea Fairy: Well, I thought it was a good idea. I guess it wasn't. This concludes the first interview. We will take care of the rest of our guests during the follow on interviews. Thank you for tuning in.