Friday, May 08, 2015

Mac et al, The Troops are Welfare Whores, Interview Part III



Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: First, Mac didn't serve 10 active duty years in the military. He didn't serve in the combat theater during the Gulf War. He was a USMC Marine, in the reserve. I wished I could say that he served "honorably", but his service was other than honorable.

He got kicked out with an Other Than Honorable, or OTH, discharge for failing to participate satisfactorily. He failed to attend his regularly scheduled drill weekends.

He received way too many "Unexcused Absence Letters." He ignored those letters, as well as his notice of separation packet. He eventually got kicked out, reduced to E1, and was given on OTH.

Mac has been sore about this ever since.

Now, as to why he runs his sites? No. His poor experiences with the USMC Reserve helped fuel his telling lies to his followers. Those sites that he runs aren't really for the purposes that he sets them up for. Well, at least, not for the reason he lets on.

The real reason for his sites is to get attention. He knows exactly what to say to stir emotions. He knows that the title of his pages will inflame emotions and cause debate. When you have activity under those pages, you increase the chances that traffic flows to where you want it to flow.

In this case, Mac wants traffic to flow to his bit coin links.

Narrator: Adrian Parks gets tired of swiftly moving his hands inches from Mack's face. He stands up and walks around the group while sliding his hands inches from their faces while repeatedly saying, "PSY OHPS". Throughout this time, his teeth baring smile, and wide eyes, remain on his face.

Finally, Adrian Parks gets to the giant peanut. But, before he could get his hands towards the giant peanut's face, Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut quickly gets up and utilizes martial arts moves. From the others' perspectives, the giant peanut's arms and legs looked like they were going through the strobe light effect.

But, to Adrian Parks, it was anything but a strobe light effect. It was a painful, humiliating, and sobering effect. Adrian Parks collapsed onto the floor, his colander fell from his head and bounced across the floor. When Big Peanut got done, he put 1 foot on top of a crumpled Adrian Parks.

Dennis Howard Chevalier: Someone get the Amber Lamps.

Amber Lamps: I got this...

Narrator: Amber Lamps shines a tactical amber light on Adrian Parks, and Adrian Parks comes up. A lot wiser than he was, and without the wide eyes and frozen smile. Adrian Parks slumbers to his chair. He takes a seat.

Big Peanut resumes.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Well anyway, before I was rudely interrupted, Mac is drawing attention to his links. All those people that post on his pages are stooges.

Narrator: The noise in the hallway gets louder. Whomp clink... whomp clink.... Whomp clink...

They could hear the noise in the hallway just outside the room. Next thing you know, the part of the wall that the noise is concentrated on comes crashing down. Dallas Witgenfeld falls into the room and collapses onto the floor. His colander tinfoil hat skitters across the floor.

Adrian Parks says, "Excuse me." He gets up to get his own colander and puts it back in his head. He walks back to his chair and takes a seat.

Dallas Wittgenfled gets up, brushes his purple sky diving suit down, picks up his colander tinfoil hat and puts it on. He walks over and sits right next to Dennis Howard Chevalier.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Ahem...

Narrator: Both Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut and the Good Idea Fairy looked at the trio with colanders/brain buckets on their heads... The 3 colander stooges, sitting side-by-side.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut was tempted to smack Adrian Parks right upside the head to see if it would create a Newton's cradle affect with the other 2. He reserved that as a disciplinary tool in case one of them misbehaved.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Well anyway, Mac has successfully suckered a bunch of people into continuously participating on his Facebook groups.

He is living very much like the welfare whores that he accuses other people of being. He has no job. He's living in his relative's basements, eating their food, drinking their water, clogging up their toilets, causing drama, and is basically being a middle-aged kid.

Narrator: At this moment, Mac quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He puts it to his ears.

Mac: Hello? Teal?

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: You're a phony aren't you? You never deployed to the Persian Gulf!

Mac: But I did! In Saudi Arabia, I don't know if you boys have all been there, but in Saudi Arabia, it's all classified!

Narrator: Mac gets up and walks toward the door. He holds his phone to his ears and pretends to have a phone conversation with his sock puppet, Teal.

Mac: Yeah... yeah... I'm coming over...

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: There's nothing on the guy's phone. As with anything else he does, he's faking it.

Narrator: Mac leaves the room, his pace quickens as soon as he is in the hallway headed toward the exits.

Adrian Parks: Bee Dee Bee Dee... He's taken off to eat all the beans, he will NOT hoard all the beans!

Narrator: With that, Adrian Parks leaves the room and takes off after Mac.

Peanut Gallery Spokes Nut: Whose idea was it to bring everybody into this interview? This whole thing went all over the place and then fell apart.

Good Idea Fairy: Well, I thought it was a good idea. I guess it wasn't. This concludes the first interview. We will take care of the rest of our guests during the follow on interviews. Thank you for tuning in.

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